this talk: is about unrealistic portrayals of every-day life on social media - with Aimee Tahir
Now more than ever, our entire world seems to be ruled by social media. Whilst these platforms can be an incredible place to share and connect, there's also no doubt that they can often breed hurtful and dangerous messages. Bombardments of heavily photoshopped images, celebrity endorsed weight loss products, tabloid articles wrongfully critiquing women’s bodies and unrealistic portrayals of everyday life are all things that I know have negatively affected me and those close to me.
Social media is not real life but this can often be easily forgotten. Instead, it leaves many of us feeling unworthy and inadequate with ourselves and the lives we lead.
For me, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have body image issues. From a young age, I was aware that my body was larger than the majority of other children. I heard whispers in the playground and from then on, the word “fat” was imprinted in my mind. Apparently, this was the worst thing you could ever possibly be and this outlook eclipsed my entire child and teenage life, playing a major part in my suffering of both anxiety and depression.
At 16 years old, not only are you trying to navigate the pressures of school, exams and hormones, but also that constant feeling of never being good enough in the eyes of society. For myself, it just so happened that this point in my life would coincide with my first experience of depression. I was overworked and stressed about school, battling with pressures to fit in, worried about my future, (I’m 21 and I still don’t know and believe me when I say that it is okay) and on top of all of this, I was juggling the inner turmoil of a girl who hates everything about her body. The accumulation of all of that pressure left me in a dark place and eventually meant I was prescribed antidepressant medication.
The reality of it is that I was actually a very slender UK size 12. When I look back at old photographs, I can’t quite believe how small I was. Only now do I realise the extent to which I must have been suffering with body dysmorphia and my heart breaks for the younger self inside of me because I wish she could have known how strong and beautiful she truly was.
Time passed and things got better in terms of my mental health and body image, but by the time I was 19 years old, I had gained a lot of weight, taking me from a UK size 12 to a UK size 18. I was completely disgusted with myself. The years of internalised fat-phobia came pouring to the surface and I was anything but kind to myself. My depression and anxiety was at an all time high. I was too anxious to leave the house without my mum or boyfriend. I couldn’t keep a job for more than two weeks because anxiety would prevent me from wanting to attend. I would wish car crashes and emergency hospital trips all to avoid going to work and being out in public. At home, I would torture myself. Standing in front of the mirror, crying and screaming for being so disgusting. I eventually sought medical help with the support of my family, but even then it took me a whole year to get back to a place of happiness. A place where my depression and anxiety were more manageable.
My self love journey to body and self confidence was not something that occurred overnight. It has taken years at a time to unlearn the constraints that society has placed upon us, leading us to believe that only one type of body is beautiful. Even now, I still have good and bad days in terms of my mental health and the way that I view my body. Self love and your mental health is definitely a continuous journey, not a destination. It is constantly evolving, much like us. I’ve learnt to know that it's okay to have both bad and good days. That is the reality of life, it isn’t a perfectly photoshopped photo on instagram. But you, right here, in this moment, that is real and for the very fact that you are alive and breathing and unapologetically yourself, that is beautiful.
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