this talk: is about being told you are not good enough, but proving them wrong - with Shannon Smith-Whelan
Hiya! My name is Shannon and I have experienced times throughout my life, mainly in school, where my mental health declined. I think it was mainly due to negative comments from people at school. I felt like I would always try my absolute hardest and then to be met with grades that I thought made me a failure. Or perhaps when I tried something different from others I got teased for it. Deep down I knew something was not right. I now know that I struggled in school because I had dyslexia which wasn't picked up until my first year at University. I am forever grateful to my university's Disability Service Advisory who made sure I got the right support.
I remember the first time a comment was made towards me. It was in Year 8 and we were asked to think about what we wanted to be when we were older. The teacher came up to me and asked me. As an 10/11-year-old girl who had no idea, I began to think about it. I was interested in forensic science, so I said that. They replied and said, "That is very difficult to get into I suggest you lower your aspirations." What they said stuck with me until I left that school.
Throughout school, I felt like I was a shell of myself. Most days I would come home and cry to my mum who would always be there to listen. When I was told that I was not good enough, at times I believed them. In Year 9 I took GCSE music and wrote my own song; I enjoyed the subject. One girl would tease me, she would sing my song and play my videos on the screen in front of the class. I did something that even I was surprised about. I was brave. I reported her and didn't rise to her level. I was lucky that my friends backed me up and so did my teacher. From then on, she never bothered me again. Although this happened even when I left school, I was the lowest I have ever been. I wanted to give up on education. I thought "hey maybe they were right about me." My mum didn't give up on me, she told me to go to college and retake my GCSEs. So, I did.
Don't get me wrong there were some supportive teachers at my school especially my science teacher, history teacher and music teacher. Without their words of encouragement, I am not sure where I would be. Also, my amazing family and friends who stuck by me and supported me no matter what. Even through difficult times I still managed to put a smile on my face and plough through. I made sure to confide in someone whether that be my mum, boyfriend or closest friends.
Throughout college, I was also told that A levels would be too hard for me and that I would struggle. They defined me by my grades and didn't look at me as a person. I was heartbroken when they rejected me. Despite teachers backing my corner and trying to persuade them. All of this happened because I was 1 mark off a B in one subject and I needed 3 Bs to get into A-Levels. Instead, the college put me on another course because they wanted to fill up their numbers. I wasn't happy and I didn't feel like I was being pushed to my full potential. So, I decided to leave that college and go somewhere else. I went on to do A-Levels, of course it was difficult, but I was determined to do them, not only to prove everyone wrong who put me down, but to do it for me!
Here I am today. I am 23 years old, going into my final year of university studying Psychology. Although I still have an interest in forensic science, I do not wish to pursue it as a career. This is because I got interested in pursuing a career in mental health to help children and young people.
I am continuing my hobby of writing music and a newfound hobby of running which has improved my mental wellbeing. My advice to those who are put down or told they can't do something: don't listen to them, keep on going and surround yourself with people who will encourage and praise your success.