this talk: is about being an activist whilst experiencing anxiety - with Ben Pechey
When we talk about mental health, the modern approach in the media is the idea that those who suffer are broken, and those that don't are perfectly unbroken, suggesting that mental health care and treatment will ‘fix' the patient. Implying that mental health is just like a light switch, on and off. So simple!
This ‘us & them’ dialogue is probably one of the reasons mental health care is so hard to access in the UK because the people in charge aren't affected by mental health. This misconception is harming on so many levels, and if I could change one thing about the way we approach mental health, it would be the way in which we talk about suffering.
As an activist, one of the main pieces of information I try and impart with my audience is the concept of life being a continuing journey, the end goal is irrelevant, instead, life is about going where you want. The reason a journey is such a good metaphor is that it heavily relies on the concept of being in charge of our own destiny when sometimes life can feel out of our control, the journey metaphor plants your life firmly back in your control.
Our own experiences of mental health are also journeys, and this is why the concept of being broken or fixed is never going to work. Struggles with mental health are not here one day and gone the next. We need to be aware of this, and actively say there will be bad days, and good days, and that this is okay.
Anxiety is the overarching theme of my twenties and is something that I know is part of me. It is not something that can ever be taken away from me. Would I love life without anxiety? Yes in a heartbeat! But to even think about that is damaging.
My anxiety takes its joy in creating endless questions in my head that unsettle my thinking pattern, and disturb me. This can affect sleep, making decisions, productivity, and my moods. On a good day, it can be acknowledged and then swept away with some deep breaths, and a refocused approach to the day. On a bad day it jams up the working gears of my brain, and nothing can be achieved, rendering me utterly useless. Simply put this is the ebb and flow of who I am.
I know this is part of who I am, and that's okay. It is the way my brain works, and for all the negative impact it can have on my life, there are silver linings. I rarely forget things, because my brain wakes me up at 2 am in a sweat to remind me that I need to reply to that email. My work ethic is aware that some days are harder than others, thus when I am feeling productive, I really get things done. I can't talk about the positive aspects without touching on empathy. Knowing what it feels like to be so anxious you can't make decisions, means I can help those that also feel like that, and that makes me a better activist.
So if you take one thing away it would be this; if mental health has affected your life you are not broken, and you do not need to be fixed. Don't focus on ridding yourself of what affects you. Instead focus on coping with it day to day, and soon it becomes a much smaller part of your life. If we give something less ability to affect us, it can do less damage. Your journey with your own mental health is not complete. Each day can move you in the direction you want to go, and even though this process may feel slow, it is going in absolutely the right direction. Forwards.
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