What Does it Mean to Be A Man? This is a hard question to answer. I think men feel there is this constant expectation (usually their own) to perform and a sense of ‘should'. They should the strongest in the gym. They should party the hardest. They should not show emotions and any cost. In my opinion, the current approach to being a ’Strong Man’ is killing us. Literally. Rather than being a man that ‘should' be a man who writes his own ‘rule book’.

There is a war on plus size women, a slow and silent war of the mind. I will never forget the feeling of going to bed hungry. And viewing it as a victory when it was actually defeat. The path to recovery was and still is peppered with anxiety, self-harm, countless tears, fad-diets. I have a new found respect and love for myself and my body. I now know my size does not dictate my worth.

To honour ME/CFS awareness day, I thought this was the right opportunity to share my story as I am starting this new chapter of visibility and truth. For those of you who are new to ME/CFS, who don’t know what it entails and do not know anyone in their life who suffers from it, it’s a difficult disability to explain. 

They say your gut is like a second brain and there was a clear link between my mental health and physical health. I still have a lot to process and have looked into counselling, but removing my colon gave me more than just a bag for life. It helped me to see the importance of my mental stability when going through a physical illness.

What I have learned from going through counselling and reflecting on the triggers of losing my partner and my loved one all at once, is that I saw these people as my safety net. I have realised that I am largely responsible for my own happiness. I have the power to bloom again, even when my problems or situations have left me wilted. I have learnt to build resilience.

The term “gut feeling” isn’t just a saying; our gut and brain are connected by an entire communication network. When we feel something in our gut it’s our brain trying to tell it something. When we get stressed our body goes into “fight-or-flight” mode, triggering a chain of reactions that affects our digestion rate which can cause things like bloating, cramping and undesired bowel movements.

I help people be the change they want to see in the world by having the courage to unlearn their inherent and perhaps undiscovered racism. There is a serious link between racism and mental health which is often not explored or is underestimated.

Grief is still such a taboo subject, and it’s something that will impact everyone at some part in their lives. We need to talk more openly about grief, because feeling like you have to be silent when you’re going through it sometimes feels more painful than the loss itself.

I was diagnosed with a brain tumour in May 2014. I was breezy and positive the whole way through. I was actually more concerned for my family and friends, having to watch me go through it all. Not once did I get anxious or upset for myself. It wasn’t until a few months after the surgery that I realised I needed counselling, and to actually process the trauma I’d been through. 

My Vlog is about my experience of my own mental health issues within the British Army. I use this opportunity to speak as freely and as honestly as I encourage others to do.